Monday, April 13, 2009

"Tinker to Evers to Chance," Or 6-4-3

An overcast sky on a chilly morning can only mean that baseball returns again to Wrigley Field. This particularly local harbinger of Spring is celebrated in many novel and innovative ways. But one particularly unfortunate and overall trend in baseball observation, which some of us have noticed over the past several seasons, is the decline of fans at the games keeping score.

A written record of the game is hardly a vital necessity in our age of instant gratification and global communication. However, it is a grim downside of our technological progress as pencils and scorecards fade into anthropological relics and the art of scorekeeping becomes ever more arcane.

Above we present a rare Wrigley Field scorecard (click on image to enlarge) from a game in 2006 CE, clearly filled in by two distinct individuals. Each square denotes the result of each turn at bat by every player in the lineup. Obviously, the pair of fans who had filled out this scorecard had learned the process in separate environments. The fan filling in the play-by-play for the Cubs is likely to have been a native north-sider while the fan working the visiting Pittsburgh Pirates learned their technique elsewhere, possibly on the south side of town. Note how the visiting team's marks are distinguished by a primitive, cartoonlike quality as compared with the complex and more highly evolved geometro-numeric symbolism marking the hometeam Chicago Cubs' at-bats.

It may not solve the greatest mysteries of human civilization, but we risk losing valuable insights into our local heritage if we allow the scorekeeper's craft to fade into oblivion. Clincher urges fans of the game to seek out the elders of their respective tribes, and strive to sustain the written traditions of Baseball Nation.

And make sure to show up early enough to get the lineups.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

The Last Great American Jobs

All good merchants understand that in real hard life there are no problems, only opportunities. With an eye to the near future, auspicious from the ubiquitous signs of socio-economic downturn, where are the opportunities of tomorrow...?

Prison Guard: With increases in crime, implementation of ever more laws and the rising need for three squares and a roof over your head, only the public burden of maintaining corrections facilities keeps the noble turnkey slightly outside the realm of sustainable job security.

Gun Sales: With no end of the breathless rumors of an inevitable liberal Democrat gun roundup in sight, firearms sales presents a bright future in a time of hoarding and stockpiling. Dynamic self-starters can even work their way up to the lucrative international arms trade.

Grave Digger: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, union scale.

Feel free to add on to the list in comments....